Creating a Third Eye post

It begins by having a keen sense of the absurd, a wicked sense of humour and clear idea when you might put your job on the line.

Then browse Bernama. Some days you'll be spoilt for choice and some days are slim pickings but when it comes to absurdity, contradiction and bold face hypocrisy, Bernama is never impoverished.

Most times a single story will do, at other times a combination is necessary. Let me demonstrate:

I began with this piece on former PM Abdullah A. Badawi:

UUM TO CONFER HONORARY DOCTORATE TO TUN ABDULLAH

ALOR SETAR, July 5 (Bernama) -- Universiti Utara Malaysia (UUM) will confer an honorary doctorate to former Prime Minister Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi at a special convocation on July 17.

UUM vice-chancellor Tan Sri Dr Nordin Kardi said Tun Abdullah would receive the Honorary Doctor of Philosophy in Democracy for his untiring efforts towards the promotion of democracy among the people.

Sultan of Kedah Sultan Abdul Halim Muadzam Shah would present the honorary doctorate to Tun Abdullah, he told reporters here. "Pak Lah (Tun Abdullah) has been consistent in his efforts to promote democracy among the people. He also recognises their role in safeguarding the
country's peace and harmony," he said.

-- BERNAMA

This was insufficient mostly because I try to minimise the use of my own words to fill the 116-118 word allowance I have developed as the parameters for a Third Eye post.

Trawling Bernama I found this:

6,000 STUDENTS IN MANIK URAI TO RECEIVE SCHOOL UNIFORMS, BAGS

KUALA KRAI, July 5 (Bernama) -- The Education Ministry is providing free school uniforms and bags to 6,142 primary, secondary and religious schools in Manik Urai.

Kelantan Umno liaison chief Datuk Mustapa Mohamed said he was informed of the aid by Deputy Prime Minister and Education Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin several days ago for all the students in Manik Urai.

"This gesture by the ministry is to lighten the burden of the people here," he told a news conference at the Manik Urai Barisan Nasional (BN) operations centre, here, today.

Mustapa said for a start, 300 students received the free school uniforms and bags today, and the rest in stages. He had earlier presented the aid to the pupils of Sekolah Kebangsaan Manik
Urai Baru here on behalf of Muhyiddin.

-- MORE

From this I produced this:

TUN DOCTOR

UNIVERSITI Utara Malaysia will confer an honorary doctorate to former PM Tun Abdullah. UUM vice-chancellor said he would receive the Honorary Doctor of Philosophy in Democracy for his untiring efforts towards the promotion of democracy among the people. The Sultan of Kedah Sultan would present the honorary doctorate to Tun. "Pak Lah has been consistent in his efforts to promote democracy among the people. He also recognises their role in safeguarding the country's peace and harmony," he said. Meanwhile the Education Ministry announced it is providing "free school uniforms and bags to 6,142 primary, secondary and religious schools in Manik Urai" where a by-election is coincidentally taking place.

Part of the Malaysian theory of electoral democracy, Tun?

End.

The idea is to end on a rhetorical question addressed to someone or an institution or the public. And if a smile creeps across the face of your reader you've done well.


Now you give it a try.

Third Eye - Beginings

Beginning the Third Eye. I was asked by Tony Francis to develop a segment of the paper which usually appears on page 2. It was meant to gossipy, observations (wry or pointed) that journalists spied/ over heard while on the job. Apart from, literally, a handful of contributions from the newsroom, I was forced to cull weird news from the Net. This focus on foreign news gave way to a concentration on local news when Francis Nantha suggested I look at Bernama wires and Ravi Veloo pointed out that local news would be easier. Ravi also describes attempts in a Singaporean newspaper to do pretty much the same but it came to naught (even when they paid for contributions). Third Eye only went on line recently so most of what I post is from the Bernama phase. Will probably load this all onto a separate blog soon. But below was the first Third Eye pieces to go on line (Monday, May 11, 2009). For the record a few Third Eye were written by others (on my days off etc) - I will not claim credit for these. Despite not having a by-line I would like to claim authorship for this work.

SK

MAS TAK SELAMAT

THE TINY man with a limp had single-handedly outwitted the high-security city-State and escaped, swimming across the Straits of Johor. Mas Selamat Kastari, Singapore’s most wanted fugitive, with posters dedicated to his capture plastered at all entry and exit points, has finally been caught.

It is learnt that his capture was kept a secret in order to help the Malaysian authorities catch others in his network. The arrest was kept secret at first but slipped out and leaked to the Press. The PMs of both nations are fighting terrorism. Singapore’s PM noted he especially appreciated the “close cooperation and trust between the Internal Security Department and its Malaysian counterpart, the Special Branch.”

The pillars of our nations.

DLL BLUES

DAYAKS might be the majority in Sarawak but are forced to tick the “others” box. Some are also calling for the term “Dayak” itself to be changed.

Media reports quote a Deputy Minister as saying: "If we look at official forms or documents, in the column for race, they only state either Malay, Chinese, Indian or others. This is despite the fact that the so-called Dayaks are the majority in the State.”

In contrast to the idea that politicians would do well leading sports organisation, he suggested cultural organisations would do well to stay apolitical: “Leave politics to politicians. Your association will suffer if the leaders started to behave like politicians.”

True YB.

FIRST BLOOD

THEY started it. According to media reports, the Perak Menteri Besar has expressed unhappiness with what he claims to be the “unfair reporting by some local media with regard to the ruckus at the Perak State Assembly sitting on Thursday”.

He went on to say: “Reports and pictures published in the media did not portray who actually started the fiasco. I urge the media to be objective and fair in their reporting.”

Perak’s Assembly has been the scene of musical chairs of a political kind with seating arrangements changed and even the Speaker’s chair was damaged. Despite his unhappiness, the Menteri Besar promised he would not bar unsympathetic media unlike a Pakatan Rakyat controlled State.

Of course YB.